इ हवे बीन स्तायिंग अत माय फ्रिनेड्स हाउस फॉर अबाउट अ वीक एंड आईटी इस सफे तो से ठाट लिविंग विथ हेर इस मच दिफ्फेरेंत फ्रॉम माय एवेर्य्दय लाइफ।

no big deal

christmas has come and gone. there was a debate at my school weather we should be allowed to say merry christmas to people, because it's christ mas and a lot of people are not religious or have different beliefs some even said it was offensive.

give me a freaking break, why the hell does this matter?

if you were saying racial slurs i could understand the need to stop it in it's tracks, but 'marry christmas' it's not going to release a pandemic of plague and locus (another religous thing)

holy cow, i don't believe in god and jesus and the cross thing and i don't feel the need to be offended when someone says to me merry christmas, you just say it back no big deal.

i know i am making a big deal about a not so big deal which makes it my big deal which i am now infecting your brains with but really.

tangent of the decade

i love that i may have 520 views, but no comments, what is this!

i have a myspace and it's pretty pathetic, i made it last week or the week before and it's depressing.

my facebook is the complete opposite, not pathetic at all, it may surprise you but i actually don't go on the computer that much.

2010 is approaching, no more 00's here, and you'll never see them again unless you live forever or a very long time and make it to 3000 which would be awesome and suck all at once, you might even say bitter sweet? i wouldn't like to live forever unless some other people did as well and they weren't total jerks, i say more than one because after forever you would get really sick and tired of the same person and you might beg for death because of boredom.

nothing would mean anything anymore life wouldn't be as precious and you wouldn't be thankful for everyday you spend on earth because you live forever, you would take life for granted.

plus if you lived forever are you still aging or are you stuck at some age?, because if you are living forever and aging forever you'd be in a lot of pain, because you're body would wear down, and staying the same age would have limitations, if you cared for someone who wasn't living forever and they started to die or get older if you are quite young they would have to move on or be accused of being a pedophile.

i like the Buddhist ideals about reincarnation, you die but come back, not aware of your past lives, i think this belief is my favorite, people are afraid to die and to comfort themselves they have come up with different ways of saying when you die you don't actually stop existing you go on to another life or you go to a place where they decide if you are bad or good and if you re good you get rewarded (sounds like santa)

psychological war fair.

it snows like crazy, it goes away, it gets really cold, it turns around and get hot.

it seems i am hypersensitive to change at the moment, my dad thinks i have OCD because i spent an hour trying to get a plastic wrapper to tear straight and when it didn't i continued till it pissed him off so he got me some scissors, i might i don't know but that stuff really bugs me.

my sister likes to steal things from my room but she does it one at a time so i know something is missing but i don't know what it is, and it bothers me once again. so i decided get revenge on her, i cleaned her room, organized all 57 of her nail polish containers in a row the labels facing out, i made her bed, organized her closet, everything is even and in place. her room never looks even and in place she'll know it's all different but she won't believe i changed it she'll think 'Sarah must have done this, but wait, why would she clean my room? did she take anything' then she'll march to my room where i will be drawing and she'll say something like 'stay out of my room' and I'll say 'i didn't go in your room' she'll probably look confused and ask me who did then, and I'll say something along the lines of 'i don't know'

my sister will be so confused by the dramatic change in her room that she will not notice i took a pair of giant blue scissors from the middle of her table, this plan has flaws but it's psychological war fair.

she'll not know what hit her.

evil? yes, necessary? to me yes, but not really.

jesusfackingchrist

my parents haven't talk to each other in six years, tonight they went and talked about me deciding if i get to live with my mom, which i have been begging to do since the summer. they left at 6:00pm my dad came back at 10:00pm and said nothing to me...........JESUS CHRIST!

when i get stressed i hyperventilate and sometimes throw up, i have extreme anxiety and have been diagnosed with depression, wtf are they playing with me like this, they are my parents! i am totally freaking out because they don't give me a facking straight answer!!!!!

(i spelt facking like that on purpose)

fivefrickenhundred

500 is half of 1000

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it's pretty cool that this has been viewed 500 times

i was going to say by 500 people but it's probably repeated offenders

thanks anyways 500 is better then 499 !

jesus why so many?

facebook, myspace, deviant art, blog, nexopia (everything accept the last one i still use) jeesh why do i need all of these? the truth is i don't.

i don't know why i have them, there is the idea to stay connected with your friends from far away, which is a valid reason to have these but why so many?, oh and i also have hotmail, two of them actually.

jesus! why so many?(not actually asking jesus// for those who are religious)

blaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

suppose to be spencer from criminal minds.

it was fun to draw.

enough said.

very frustrated at this point in time

teachers are jerks, seriously total power hungry losers who couldn't get a real job so they take it out on their students (note some teachers are great but there are a seldom few who take joy in my misery)

Today i was suppose to go to the Vancouver Art Gallery, this is the first 'field trip' i have been on that was fun educational (fish hatchery scarred me for life) so i have missed some school that week already, when i show up to art class 2 days before i ask the teacher what i missed, he says; "not much, just some painting and a new project." So i stay in at lunch to finish this project. So i go in this morning to be greeted by a friend, we both walk to the art class in anticipation for the art gallery. My name is suddenly called and a teachers says i haven't handed in my form i say "yes i did, i handed it into the office," she says"no there's another form." She shows me the form and says did you get this one? you have to go around to all your classes and get your teachers to sign it, you have ten minutes. Okay, right then and there i knew i was doomed but i set out anyways on this impossible mission.

I go to my ass of a socials teachers first, i hand him the form which is blank and he says "i don't sign anything that is blank" (that's reasonable) so i get out a pencil and fill in my name and write ' Vancouver ART Gallery' i tell him i have ten minutes to get everything signed, and that's when he starts to slow down. He looks at my paper and says you wrote it in pencil i can't sign something you wrote in pencil you might change it, so i dug through my bag and handed I'm a pen, he look at it " i can't sign in blue pen" so i look again through my bag for a blue pen. He looks at the paper for 30 seconds before signing it and then gives me a speech about how i shouldn't go on this trip

(this teacher has valid points but really i know what he is doing, he likes to have all the control and power, and since he isn't a very important person in rank he uses what power he has on the only people with no say/ the students, he is a sad pathetic little man// i know that is harsh but he's an ass// and i don't talk back to him in the slightest because he could be worse)

so he takes forever and none of my other teachers are in their classrooms, so i go to the office, my English teachers away, my philosophy teacher doesn't get there till 8:30/ we are leaving at 8:10, and my art teacher i waiting for me, i ask is there any other person who can sign, but apparently he's not there (guidance counselor)

so i go back to the art class and i tell the teacher what i happened, he says something along the lines of ' sorry sarsh, not going to happen' so i crumple up the paper and put it into the garbage can and say "thank you" (actually said that)

oh and the office can't give me a refund.

this isn't a big deal, deaths a big deal, this is nothing but still the Vancouver Art Gallery, i was really looking forward to something like this.

blehhh.

jesus christ!

ok i have i deveinat art account and it says my age (16), so i change my profile picture and i make a joke about it and this person writes something along the lines of ' a good pic of a pretty woman' first of all i check who sent it and it's some 23 year old// i am not flattered by this comment in fact i think it's a bit creepy, no a lot creepy. my age is clearly stated buddy, wtf.

do people really feel flattered by those comments, i dunno why, and it's not like it was some revealing picture, very G rated (Disney would love it) to prove it i have uploaded the picture. i made a joke about it saying worst picture and mistake in history (because i cut my own hair)

i may be over reacting, probably am, but he's 7 years older and i find it weird that he is commenting on my page, use those words on someone closer to your age.

Questinable

I believe my mom is ignoring me..........

I sent her an e-mail a week ago and she hasn't responded, I've called several times (4) and i sent her an e-mail on facebook, she hasn't responded, so i think she may be avoiding me. This may sound paranoid, it might be paranoid to believe my own mother would ignore me, but i still feel this way. It's funny i don't know if she is or isn't what does that say about our dynamics?

This also brings to question is there ever a time where she has avoided me, or am i seriously unbalanced. (those were both rhetorical questions/ that's why I feel the need to leave out question marks, form otherwise valid questions)

it's 9:08pm it's snowing giant Q-tips outside and sticking!

this made my day and i hate snow :)

this is been the happiest thing that is happened to me in a while and i am genuinely ecstatic, which is sort of sad, but non the less great even though of all things snow, which i hate, is making me happy, i am not making sense but i don't care-very happy at this second and i don't really know why-it's great.

my friend frank

don't understand

plus, people don't understand me.

>like the little things i have a problem with like i can't trust people (every time i do i get hurt)

>or how i can't say i love you ( my friend thinks it's funny/ she's a goof ( in a good sense))

>how i can't just relax apparently i am calm just guarded

i think all theses fall into the same category

plus this is one i noticed, people don't seem to get how i feel about them sometimes, my friends always wonder if i care for them, which i think is absured. Plus it seems that when i say something people don't get if it is suppose to be mean or nice because it's neutral, i rarely say mean things and when i do i feel bad and apologize. i can't really explain the last thing very well and i am really bad at expressing my feelings, but you would know if you really pissed me off (you would of had to bullied someone or hurt an animal) because i know how it feels to have been bullied and hurting any animal is wrong.

i am going on random tangents because i am bored plus i though i should write more on this blog

out of controll

there is this boy, he was my friend throughout elementary and midddle school, in high school he left to be home schooled (couldn't handle regular school i guess) i wasn't bent out of shape about him leaving, i didn't even really care.

this year i went to a new high school and once i told my friend he found out somhow and came to the school where i was at, no problem, accept now he is always hanging out with me, getting angry if i don't hang out with him or hang out with my friends, and he constantly messages me or comments on my facebook, i have told him several times that i don't want to hang with him, not in a mean way we were friends and all and we still could be if he wasn't always so desperate to cling to me, and when i do hang out with him all he does is not talk and stare at me, he follows me everywhere and i missed last week becuase i was ill and he sent me 10 messages, plus a message saying 'where are you?! did u die, i am lonley at school without u' no joke.

My life feels out of control, like everything is coming at me from all sides, it's really getting hard to handle, i feel as if i may break.

four twenty

420 people have viewed my blog, 4:20 is a time in the evening or morning, and 4 20 is national pot smoking day (april 20th) i don't smoke pot, feeling stupid is not a goal of mine.

chrisoptophobia

my poems are on deviant art so check 'em out

chrisoptophobia

just do it.

write either

Riches or

The Queen and her Tower

in the search, but on the left side bar best click Literature then click poems then put in the search words above

tongue piercings

i will be 17 in 4 months, that one year away from freedom.

today we had to write a poem about someone i know and i started with her heart was encased......i will not go on because it's like 3 pages of amazing, i am happy my teachers said it was good and i should consider being a writer!

my goal in life.

me a guy he had a tongue piercing, damn.

i want a tongue piercing, spent the whole day with guy talking about piercings and tattoos we want, i am such a loser.

confused

ok onto something that doesn't want to make me slit my wrists :S

i may have an opportunity to go to China on spring break for an exchange thing, i think that sounds very exciting and maybe if i get away form it all my brain can process my life.

have you ever had an epiphany that changed everything your motives the people around you, you find that the people you thought you can trust you can't, and vice versa.

everryone i trust ends up hurting me, and i am not being one bit dramatic.

drama is stupid it makes me laugh when i see the girls at school form little bunches and talk about other girls "she said this...." holy crap seriousely i think are you really seriouse, god people are dumb.

whatever.

life sucks then you die......

blah blah blah blah..............

people seriously need to get over themselves, myself included.

i always complain and say how sad i am no one likes me, i will probably die alone because for some freakish reason i wear some invisible boy repellent that they get just close enough then leave. and i know i am miserable about it, asking all the questions like what's wrong with me??

but seriously i am done. fed up, i don't care anymore because caring ends up getting you hurt...so whatever.

and i don't get it people like me say i make a good friend, that i am nice and not self absorbed (though you probably can't tell form all this), that i am pretty (they could be lying)

RAWRRR!

whatever, i don't care. (well I'll at least pretend i don't)

NM

i got this dog yesterday it's the family dog she is 7 weeks old and is very very very tiny, i want to name her Norma Jean like Marilyn Monroe, and if you don't know what i am meaning ......then i am not gong to tell you...:)

so blind

they tried to tell me i have an eating disorder, the doctor, my parents.......... i don't.

they don't think i eat enough, how would they know they are never home to notice anyways (my parents, not the doctors, it would be pretty weired if they were at my house.)

it's very frustrating having the same conversation over and over again, and they have no evidence, i haven't lost a tremendous amount of weight, arr!!! <--- venting anger. they are so blind.

school has almost been on 2 weeks and so far i have missed 3 days of scho0l!

i went to the doctors and they said i have an iron deficiency, i went to the dentist and i have TJM ( some sort of jaw problem that if not fixed it can be bad) and now i am getting migraines......i am falling apart.

the new school i am going to is cool i have made lots of friends already and boys are all pigs,finally realized this.

first day of school, it's the end of the day and i am walking towards a bus, as i am approaching the bus someone steps in front of me, i look up to see this very tall guy standing in front of me, i mumble sorry and go to move around him but he moves when i move being directly in front of me again, again i think it was an accident and i mumble sorry and try to go the other way and again the same thing happens, so i look up and this guy is grinning like a fool, so then i say 'can i help you?' because i dunno maybe i am in his way? or ....? i dunno, so as a reply he gives me some obscene suggestions of what i can do for him and he gives me his number....WTF!!??

do i look like a prostitute?

and he's not the only one, well he was the only one making obscene suggestions but guys are creeps, some of them the way they look at you is like you forgot to put on a shirt and they keep staring, but that isn't even the worst this one guy stares right into my eyes making me turn away first he keeps doing it, it freaks me out, once i tried to out stare him but it's weired i can't explain it but i couldn't. so guys are creeps and really obnoxious.

anyways got my drivers licence on August 8th i am so lazy in less than 6 months i'll be 17 and i just got my license *eyes rolling*

i feel like a have a road block in my brain like i can't get to any of the good ideas on the other side

this is an example of my quick sketch work

apologize in advance

go you ever feel completley lost in your surroundings?
like everyone around you are having a good time and you just seem to not be able to catch up ?
that's how i feel everywhere i go, sort of left out. Like things are happening everywhere that i am not.
an example i use to live in coquitlam and i socialized a lot and had a lot of friends, when i moved here to my
original inhabitants i had 3 good friends which turned to 2 good friends and now i have 1 friend, i don't lose
my friend or get in giant arguments with them, but we just drift apart.
and all my old friends are hanging out and having fun while i sit here reading drawing and writing.

then i thought well i'll add them on facebook but that didn't work because the group always uses inside jokes.
then i thought make a deviant art account get to know people of there.....
it's a pathetic attempt.
i have had the account for 3 weeks and in that total i have gotten 3 messages........it's sad believe me

and some how i feel kind of inadequate like i'm some pathetic thing everyone tries to avoid
i know i am not the best artist...jeesh that is for sure, but still....?

i don't know why i am even typing this but well and here is the cliche line every teenager uses 'i feel like no one understands me'
now that i have typed it i feel stupid but there is no going back now i type how i feel.

this is very 'woe is me' crap people who have way less than i have are still happier than me i need to get a grip and deal with it and stop being such a baby
i have a roof over my head
food to eat
a parent that doesn't hate me
i should be happy......... but i am not.
and i hate myself for not being happy.
very deep dark depressing stuff if any body reads this i apologize in advance or since this is at the bottom of the page i apologize after the fact.

CHRISOPTOPHOBIA

wow haven't been on here in a while i just got back a week ago
it was hell
they go to church and pretend they are happy then they go home and scream at each other, it's the stuff you slit your wrists to.
i made lots of friends there non stop socializing-freaky
and now i am bored as hell all day long with no one to hang with so.......



I CREATED A DEVIANT ART ACCOUNT!!!!
really that is how bored i am i am excited to have created an art account it's
*chrisoptophobia* WHICH MEANS FEAR OF BATS it's a joke considering bats are my favorite animals :)

damnit

quick up date no one is home and i don't want them to know i have this blog
i have 1 week left of classes!
made lots of friends SUPRISE
met a guy
and now i have to leave it all behind
and this guy is great sweet and kind and he likes me to and god
really upset about that
oh well lfe moves forward (puting on a brave face)
and it's not like i am the only one this is ever happend to right??

my first two days of classes.
\wow.
i live in a small town so being indipendant in sanfransisco is a bit overwelming considering i take the bart (a train) to sanfran. then i have to find the right bus to my first class and there is like a million busses there.
but it's amazing i recomend AAU to anyone who wants to go there accept there are alot of wierdos, i got harassed 3 times in just one hour.

i tried to make that as short as possible, it's quite short but if i start to go into detail it'll take me a couple hours to finish.

haven't made any friends/ social outcast to one and all :) -it's best that way not to make attachments to people that you'll leave in 6 weeks.

i sent an e-mail to dragon telling her what will happen if she stays with that guy, sent it about a week and a half ago-no response.

i have to leave it at that because i am using the sole free time where i am the only one at home to write this and they will be home soon and i don't want to share my thoughts with them

god ther are home now bye.

honesty

still in canada :(

got my braces off :)

all packed :)

leaving tommorow :)

stressed out of my mind :0

hate chilliwack :(

actually want to live with my mother :S

can't take emotional rollacoaster of a family :(

bought socks with dragons on them :D

gunna wear them with black fishnets and pumps to church ;)

have portfolio ready :)

finished exams!!!! :D

want to get my tounge pierced :D

don't know if i should :/

dad can't stop me :)

all this is what i am thinking right now and some other stuff, if people just said what they actually were thinking and feeling the world would be a more honest place

*notice i didn't say better*

pathetic worthless scum who doesn't deserve to show his face and not be ashammed

i haven't said much on the topic of a-use-to-be-good-friend dragon because well now she is a-use-to-be and not a currently-is-goood-friend.
the thing is she likes to steal other girls boyfriends lucky for me my record of bfs is a record high one :P so problem there but she started hanging out with this completely ugly (inside and out) guy in grade 12 and the thing is she pounces on any guy who gives her a speck of attention, anyways she and this guy hang out i don't like him but well they are only hanging out right?? WRONG.
this guy lets call him shreck (because he looks a lot like shreck-minus the green) see shreck has a gf at this point in time so dragon decides to become friends with her......... it's a really long story (about 10 months worth) but the gist is she befriended this girl to get closer to shreck and her and shreck snuck around his real gfs back only to make her cry at school a lot because she was so confused and didn't understand why shreck was cheating on her but when she said this to him he told she was paranoid making her feel guilty, eventually she got really depressed and dumped him and he didn't care he just went to dragon.

i tried telling her to stop but she didn't care now she has lost her friends and their respect and this guy is complete scum i went up to him and bitched him out for what he'd done to such a nice girl (not dragon) he thought it was hilarious and walked away with dragon.

the worst thing though is he slept with his gf and right after went to go hang out with dragon after not even saying goodbye to her or acknowledging her existence once he got what he wanted-complete scum. i know this because she told my friend while she was crying.

and i have lost complete hope that there is a guy out there that likes you for who you are and isn't just after something, it's sad but true, and it's not just this experience that convinces me of this.

ouch!
getting pierced (stomach) hurts

hectic!

tommorow ima dying my hair and getting pierced sat. i am going to my moms sun. i am studying for my exams mon. i do my exams tues. i pack for california/sanfransisco wed. i get my braces off!!! finish my last exam and go to california/sanfransisco!!!!!
dear lord

bored stupid with nothing to say

today i got bored in class and i had a liquid eyeliner pen and well lets just say almost my complete torso is covered in intricate designs :P
since mention the topic of makeup (liquid eyeliner which by the way hurts like heck if you get it in your eye)
i don't understand why people wear it, i don't. i only have makeup because my mom buys me exactly the same things my sister wants so i get loads of makeup that i use for different medias in my art sometimes
but why do people wear it?/ mostly girls, but is it to cover yourself up? to hide behind a mask??
once i put on makeup and my wierd neighbor from Coq. got upset telling me i'm hiding my natural beauty........................................................................................................................PPFFFFTTTT!!!!
ha. ha. ha. omg wata load a crap, i guess she was on drugs or something and she couldn't tell what i look like :)
but girls spend hundreds on cosmetics and stuff to gob on their face to what look prettier?
so no offence or whatever to those who wear it, actually offence to those who do because if everyone one stopped doing it and stopped trying to look like photoshopped models in tv shows and commercials everyone would have better self esteem and be more happy,, i think

on a happy note i am happy

and i feel like swearing ( the following is rated PG/ strongly worded ) : damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn

glasses

it's early, this is probably the earliest time i have ever written a post.......well except on the weekend when i go to sleep about 5 am (i'm a night person) so an update.....I GOT THE GLASSES!!!!
lame i know for people who just don't give a damn, but very meaningful to me
and if you are wondering what i had to do in return, it was nothing in comparison to what i thought might have to do just weed are whole backyard which is hughe because are house is huge and we have gardeners who usually do that and give her $10
That's all.

i would just like to note i used the word damn *gasp*

suck it up, and just be an actual parent for once

my sister is the spawn of satan, people may think i aM exaggerating but no she is the most evil b. that ever lived
this may sound very harsh and that i in fact may the a b. for saying this but it's true
i have proof
1) if she knows i want something she takes it just so i can't have it
ex: there was some really wicked old school Ray Bands in our basement and k. new i wanted them so she ran to my dad and was crying and saying she was sad and the only way for her to be happy was for her to have the sunglasses. i of course didn't mind as long as she actually wore them, so months go by and she just left them wedged in between stuff ,never actually wearing them so yestrday it's so freaki'n sunny out and i don't actually own a pair of sunglasses ,and she was gone so i asked my dad if i could wear them considering k. since recieving them a couple months ago hasn't worn them so he said yes as long a k. doesn't see you wearing them (because we all know she will pull a huge fit if she did.) so i wear them to school and now i have grown completley attached to them so when i go home i am deciding to ask her if i can have them.
well as soon as i open the door my dad runs to me hands out saying 'quick give me the glasses!' and i say why and he says k. is home so i quickly give them to him but still i say 'can i have them so i can ask her if she will give them to me?' he gives me a wary look and agrees so i go down stairs where she is playing on her brand new mac laptop ( my dad gave me his hand-me-down 5yrs old one that sucks because they couldn't afford to get me one) so i go hey k. i was wondering, since you don't wear them can i have theses glasses she looks at me looks at the glasses and yells"NO! GIVE ME BACK MY GLASSES I HAVE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR THEM' this of course is a lie but what am i to do so i give them to her.
just so you know my sister has 5 pairs of brand new sunglasses all of them ray bands and yet she won't give me the six pair and the only reason i like them is because they were my nana's and she died and when she died i actually cried my sister no joke was happy because she hated my nana and didn't shed one tear-honestly i am not making any of this up.
so today i am still completley hung up on these very important to me glasses so i go to her with what i thought was a good idea i say k. i will pay you whatever you want for those glasses she looks up from her laptop and says how much you got i tell her to name her price 10$? $20 i had about eighty but if i told her that she would make me pay eighty she looks at me again and can probably see how desperate i am to have those glasses that i am willing to pay anything so she says 'no, get outa my room'
how evil and she said she as wearing them yesterday but i fond them on the bathroom floor under a bunch of her clothes!!
and my dad is afraid to upset her so she gets what she wants when ever and i am left with 'your the oldest ,your sister, she is suppose to be like this to you.' she makes such a fuss of everything that i keep all my emotions bottled up and my opinions unknown so i don't send my parents over the edge because they are to busy trying to handle her and by the way she isn't even a little kid she is 14

i know it's silly yo be upset over a pair of sunglasses but really
if you think i am toatlly overreacting please say something it's best to get an outsiders opinion because my parents won't say anything they are to affraid of up setting k.

teaching gym teachers to run

ahahahaaa!!!
my dad finally agreed to let me get a tattoo!!!!-life's good :P
well there is conditions
1) have to pay for it myself- no big it's 120$ per hr.
2) have to do research on where i what place i want to get it done- found that the second i realized i wanted a tattoo!
3) can't be anything inapropriat- as if

i am so pumped it's a couple lines from a book-duh, and it's a poem, i would write it down but well it's in German and the translation is not as pretty in english, the german language i find is not very languid, it doesn't roll off the tounge.
in other news it's so flippin hot out that i find that it is child abuse for the gym teachers to make us run around in the sun- if it's so easy why aren't they doing it??
'those who can't do, teach, those who can't teach, teach gym'

pencils; you are my heros

i had a seveare case of 'artists block' for a couple of months but now i am back and better then before!!!!!
literally speaking.

Art Academy

i have my exams on the 15Th and 17Th and then on the 18Th i leave to California on the 20Th i have a mandatory meeting at AAU and on the 22ND i start my classes!!! then i will be gaone for 6 whole weeks away from my family :P

It's not easy being green

survival of the fittest is one saying that is true, think about it.......
job interviews, team sports, AP sign up classes, university/ college
this quote stresses me out like natural selection, your physical appearance can get you places or make you fail miserably, i wish people were blind to appearances and you looked like who you are like a person with a beautiful soul would be grgeous and a hateful person would look like the witch they are.
Hell hath no furry like a women scorned.
ha, i love this one because for some girls this is totallly true and i think it's hilarious, i feel totally sorry for the person who betrays them, but then again they probably deserve it.
You can catch more flies with honey then with vinigar
first, i have no intrest in catching flies, BLEH. second, this isn't always true like when you smile to people in the hall when you walk past them and they scowl at you WTF??!!! did i ever do to those people god just trying to be nice :)
It's not easy being green
personally never have been green but it would be tough you would never find makeup in your shade.... s h a l l o w .......

Cherry Tomatoes

personal space is important to me, so if people just all of a sudden are an inch from my face with no warning i react.
most of my eventful school life happens in gym class-it's a bit weired.
there was a big storm yesterday so going outside wasn't an option, we played valley ball, so I'm just playing or what ever and sum person comes up behind me and roars in my ear - WTF!!?? so i jump like a mile and miss the ball, it was weired the firts time but then it just got annoying- boys are weired.
my blogs are very boring i realize that and i am sort of sorry if anyone reads them/ may induce a coma should be a warning sign flashing in the top right corner-I'll look into that....
today dragon told me i feed into peoples energies-like when they are happy i am also happy but amplified by 10, or if they are depressed same thing, i don't know if this is true about me but well i hope not.
also she also said that the reason i don't have an abundant amount of Friends is not because people hate me but that people are afraid that i will hate them if they bug me. HA!!!
now for hopefully a long time i am going to not write about myself, because it seems that i am conceited if all i do is that.

the government is corrupt, the liberals always win and they do not take in the needs of the people instead they are all about business and money, John Les doesn't care about anyone and he is slime !

the Canucks lost 5/7 to the windy city!! dear god they always do this they go almost all the way playing pretty well and then the last deciding game they lose!!!!

today i found out that my high school is the most drug troubled in all of BC- W- O- W

and my little bit of knowledge for you folks today is:
Tomatoes are from the fruit family and if you give high school students cherry tomatoes they throw them at each other non what so ever ending up in their mouths

SAME BLOGGG!!!!!
just thought i should point that out. I got bored thought i would change things up a bit :) though it kind of gives me a headache but well, i couldn't care less...
Friday,Saturday, and Sunday i had to hang out with small children though there was only two it felt like one hundred children jumping and screaming and making a mess, and they had this strange aversion to hygene and they loved talking dog movies. GAH.
at this moment in time i have had it, i apologize to anyone that i said smaller children weren't so bad or they just had to live through it. I WAS COMPLETLEY WRONG. it's like driving through a dark tunnel not knowing when you'll see the light again thankfully they left on Sunday or i may have killed myself.
we all went to metro town mall on saturday and the little girl came with me, she had 1 large dipped ice cream, 1 small dipped ice cream, a 7up, and a piece of pizza!!!!!! OMG.
i actually bought clothes that showed my arms and neck, very suprising if you know me, and it was white!!!!!
a lot of people were shocked saying omg sarah why don't you wear clothes like that more often, i mean c'mon it's just a white V-neck, it's not like usually walk around in a paper bag.
OH and just so people know i messed something up last time and the people who follow this blog (not a lot i may add) and the 'about me' thing are at the very bottom, not important but i was suprised when i couldn't see it anymore, till i scrolled down.

titles are boring

i think i am allergic to grass...........

just going to say it cuz it's true lunch sitting outside with some people and we decided to go out on the field,

 next think i know I'm all blotchy and itchy.<< class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">funny if it wasn't me.

my sisters birthday was ystrdy so i made her a card. me and her are so different it's kinda scary she is sorta tan and very blond also out going and hates reading with a passion. i am pale at the moment have black hair kinda short ( she's 2 years younger and almost taller than me :( ) and reading is my life, oh and one of the weirdest differences is she likes rap music / excuse me while i barf. so i made her a card with "Little Wayne" on it she told me u shorten the "little" part but i am never going to stoop so low :)

today was good boring and the highlight is that it's almost over. <<>

and at this moment in time i have finished the following books: pride and prejudice, Mansfield park, Emma, sing them home, Wuthering heights, Jane Austen in Scarsdale.

AND THIS BOOK WAS SO GOOD IF NOT A BIT VULGAR BUT COMPLETELY AMAZING: the time traveler's wife<<>

<3

Skaespear is my life, not really but seriously the man is a genius 

Frisbee champion

 i am so the frisbee champion.

hung out with the guy i like all gym class. but for some freekish reason this guy i have only talked to about twice kept interfiering for example i was talking to the guy and all of a sudden random buy comes up and grabs my waist??!!! so i turned around because guys grabbing at me is sorta wiered and i don't appreciate it and then he starts a conversation with me and the other guy walks away!!!

 i don't know what that guys problem is, i've only talked to him twice??!!

The sign of the Apocalypse

 for some freakish reason i was extremely happy today. i even enjoyed gym, it was great we were playing badminton and i only fell 4 times and got hit in the face twice!! i know sad but well it could've been worse.

 i even hung out with my sister and she was nice and i laughed so hard my stomach hurt. i missed the bus and had to walk in the rain  but i was only ten minutes late to school which was a miracle and i told dragon how i felt about the way she treats me sometimes and she was mad but still at least she knows. 

  all and all a good day. 

RAGE

OK friends can be complete jerks like say dragon ( a friend whose name i don't want to post and i have given her that name bcuz she likes to draw dragons)

anyways she keeps talking/ bragging about all the guys who ask her out and really I'm not jealous but a bit annoyed because she cannot for one instant sop talking about it to hear my problems. i know i sound like it's all about me but usually in a conversation with a person it involves two people talking together not someone solely blabbing about how so many boys ask her out it's a hardship. and a couple days ago she was all like seriously Sarah are u a lesbian and first i was surprised because i am not/ not that there is anything wrong with that, i believe everyone has the right to be happy, but well i like guys. anyways i asked her why such a completely random question and she said because i never go out with guys or even say anyone is attractive or whatnot. Well first i think it's stupid when girls all stand around talking about "hot" guys/ reason for quotation is because hot means a high temperature and if talking in that context if a guy is hot he is either on fire or has a fever in which case he should really go to the hospital. and second she never lets me talk! how am i supposed to tell her? by smoke signals?!?

oh and i tried to go and talk to said person i have a crush on or whatever ppl call them but well i turned to tell him and he was staring straight at me like into my eyes and all of a sudden i couldn't breath and i dunno he just makes me really nervous and i get all tongue tied when I'm around him GAH I'm falling apart!

wasted emotion

i haven't been on here for a while because i really hate computers.

i think crushes are stupid, wasted emotion when people go all gaga for someone they just met or have only saw its pathetic and i hate it. i know i sound really harsh, but well i am just mad it's a lot of emotion that sometimes doesn't go anywhere because people are so afraid of being rejected, i have never had a crush on someone, until now and i really hate it i have tried very hard not to like this person, tried to find flaws or something i do not like about my crush, but i can't find any and let me tell you i hate myself for it.

 and it's frustrating because sometimes this person pulls me in then the next day or week they push me away so i have no clue what they feel and i am pretty sure it's written all over my face how i feel which makes me even more pathetic.

 i don't like crushes i have even made fun of people for wasting their time with them, honestly who really wants to be thinking of some one and wondering if they like you back and i am to much a wimp to say anything, so crushes are stupid and i really hate this i just want to not like anyone ever, then you can't get hurt.

 

Facebook

hey people made a facebook -sarah mckenzie

officially signed up for art academy of sanfransisco!
california was kinda fun i read six books and one midnight me and my cousin and sister-uggh jumped on the tramp -(trampolean) not a prostetute or homeless person-with glow sticks! i know pure wholesome fun for the whole family though the weight limit is 250.
i have never been held back or told i am to young to go off on my own when i lived with my mom in coquitlam gr.6/7 i'd stay out all night if i wanted going to hang at the skate parks and various hangouts on school nights and when ever-i use to be very social my mom didn't care and i was always free to do whatever-home wasn't a happy place.
now i live with my dad and i have more boundries/i was a little out of controll.
but at my aunts i couldn't walk to the mall without my older cousin or do things i wanted to do without supervision!!! i. am. fricken. 16!!!/ i kno i am not that old but seriousely my parents well my dad knows i don't do drugs and i am more responsible. where is my freedom i felt like i was in a cage. but i do love my aunt and uncle they are very nice ppl.
i bought this book called final exits and it is all aBOUT DEATH it's alphabatized and has many stories about different ways ppl can die-it's good and i am not morbid for liking it.
today we had to practice CPR and i was partnered with this girl and when she had her arms around me-for proceadure purposes only-she leaned her head against my shoulder because she is behind me and then tells me i always smell really good WTF??!!! i said "yea and that doesn't make this any more awkward than it already is" it wasn't so bad but really.
arggg!!!! i really want a tattoo but iam so short i am afraid all of a sudden i'll have a growth spurt and it'lll stretch-hahahaha that would really suck
with my last words,so hear me,i bid you goodbye-wow i sound stupid

no worries

hHAhahaa i just notice a reallt wiered ting ithe begining of the bog i am not going to chnge it because when you look at it you'll be all like WTF!?? and that is always good. :P

this isn't the exorcist

i don't know how to make a smooth entrance into a conversation but well
i dyed my hair(again) it's black (again)instead of red or purple or brown or Burgundy << class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">I've dyed my hair
in gym we've been doing dance and i now know how to waltz and jive there were other dances but non of those i had any success. we had to dance at least ounce with each member of the opposite gender, i danced with this one guy who was wearing a CAPE!! -that is sooo cool though with all the spinning i fell, allot. i am not very graceful and warned each guy of the train wreck zone they were entering if they danced with me but luckily no one really cared.
we got this stupid new art teacher and as a sign of protest i would not do my assignment i didn't make a fuss or tell the new impostor art teacher person-nice.. but simply studied socials which i hate by the way I've been studying for that so much i haven't had any time to study for drivers test- i procrastinate so much i should have done it Weeks ago.
tomorrow i am going to California-yay(I'll try to contain all of my excitement(heavy sarcasm)) my sister bought this stuff that helps you tan ,i bought an umbrella so i can study outside without burning.
tonight i am going to see Hamlet the play !!! William Shakespeare is my hero! the only theater i have ever been to was the queen Elizabeth theater, and i was eight, and it was beauty and the beast.
i bought normal clothes so i stop scaring my friends parents they think i am a delinquent! i should get friends who dress like me so i don't have this problem. it's sad that ppl discriminate ppl on how they dress, when i went to dye my hair at this place that is also a piercing and tattoo shop i wanted to dye it red red like a fire truck! (but not the shape of one)but my dad said "how will you get a job if you look like that" he gave me the same speech when i asked if i could get something pierced (lip)
"golly gee father i am so stupid i will go to my room and do an extra credit assignment for AP physics and think about what i just said" i didn't say that but i really wanted to especially the golly gee part.
i am writting allot because i haven't in a while so i am just spewing information .not literally this isn't the exorcist. but yes and i haven't drawn in a while either-DAMN YOU SOCIALS! :)

why man he doth bestride the narrow world.....

i recently as in yesterday read a book about a guy who knows he's dying and decides he's going to do what he wants cuz no one will retalate because he is dead. it's called deadline-haha and i love this book it made me cry,i don't cry.

today i decided i am going to react how i would actually do something instead of looking like a normal person and i got a good response i started a paper ball fight in socials and it was awesom it lasted all class and most partisipated but no homework was done-very mature and i wore what i felt like and some said i looked very nice i usually wear beggy shapeless clothing but i wore a long sleeve dark blue way above the knee dress with a belt and boots-not high healed and got alot of compliments and i wore my hair down wich i never do because i don't know it makes me uncomfotable and i think it looks stupid. i also had volleyball and i talked to ppl! i know and i met this guy from checkilslivacia i cannot pronounce his name and he is amazing at volleyball and apparently if i herd corectly he thinks i am good:) don't get me wrong i think he'd be a cool friend but thats it here in asmall town i dunno guys are not easily likeable because they are either complete jerks or your friends and you couldn't think about them as anything else. thank god i am leaving to california!-haha i am KIDDING!
i sound vain and stuoid above .
\i am so cool that i can quote shakespeareat a drop of a hat my english teacher made us go around and quoteshakespeare in the halls as the janitors continued to sweep- because there was no one else there.

flaiming computers

for the past couple of days it has been extremely sunny so much so that i left my jacket at home on the most wretched day of my existence(25Th of feb)i try to avoid ppl on this day because they seem to give me more attention on this particular day (my b-day)that i would actually like and allot of people I don't even really know coruss together to say happy birthday and dragon being completely evil and enjoying my misery told about everyone i am acquainted with that it's my birthday/ honestly ppl should know if i wanted to celebrate it i would have told someone. it started out OK i guess if you like ppl constantly talking to you trying to arrange a party and such which i would love to avoid. but it was good because it was raining and i love the rain but for some twist of fate it started to snow and snow and snow till we literally had a blizzard on our hands. (when i mean our hands,not literally though it would be cool to make a mini blizzard on the palm of your hand, you could be all like so what you have a PHD well i can make copious amounts of snow swirl on my palm) i really hate snow. so at the end of the day when i had to walk home well have you ever had a brain freeze? it was so cold and windy outside that i got one and No wasn't drinking a Slurpee it was due to the actually temperature outside my head. i met our new neighbors that everyone has been talking about the guy is completely pierced and inked up and smokes like a chimney. just an observation not a judgement though smoking is bad for your health. the first words that escaped his lips to me where
"wow, dude your eyelashes are completely frozen."
WOW i hadn't noticed really is that what was blocking my vision?(sarcasm) mine reply was "yea"

but the day was horrible for more than one reason this stupid boy in my gym class was tearing everyone apart with rude comments so i kindly told him
to shut his face
and his reply was...OK i am not actually going to use the words because well they're rude so I'll just put the starting letters.
shut the H up you F'N B!
i was thoroughly surprised and completely pissed off so when it was my turn to serve i just spiked the volleyball against the back of his head, i had the satisfaction at seeing him wince/ so it wasn't a completely awful experience. but today i am home sick/i know very pathetic. because the stupid snow when i got home covered every inch of me and i was so cold that the showers cold water felt burning hot on my skin! i am such a wimp but i can't help it this has been the worst winter of my existence because i can't say entirely maybe it was worse a year i was non existence. oh and some one from my school ask how i feel being a year older, there is no difference! one day your one age the next your not.... i don't see what all the fuss is about. dragon told me i seem like a middle age woman and how they react to their birthdays i am far from middle aged but hopefully i get there i do not react how my mother did(she had 4 boob jobs, botox injections, is dating a twenty something, and has picked up a nasty drug addiction/ thnx to the twenty something) and if you haven't already i recommend the pride and the prejudice i am only half way through and no wonder it's a classic it is really good but i seriously hate Mrs. Bennet she is so dramatic but seriously awesome and also my sister was playing a song that is somewhat good and i was quite surprised because usually all she likes is pop and rap music which sorta COMPLETELY suck. it's called 30H3 i don't know why but that is all she told me who know she could be lying and this name could activate a virus in your computer that will make your computer smoke and spark

the great william shakespeare

i am totally Shakespeare obsessed he is so amazing i love his work i am reading the play write Julius Caesar and wow.

I'll try to write an expert but i usually fail when i try.

Caesar cried, "Help me, Cassius, or I sink." I, as Aeneas, our great ancestor, Did from the flames of troy upon his shoulder. The old Anchises bear, so, from the waves of Tiber.

Did I tired Caesar. And this man, Is now become a god, and Cassius is

A wretched creature, and must bend his body, If Caesar carelessly but nod on him.

He had a fever when he was in Spain, And when the fit was on him, I did mark

How he shake. 'Tis true, this god did shake. His coward lips did from their color fly, And the same eye, whose bend doth awe the world did loose his lustre. I did hear him groan, Ay, and that tongue of his, that bade the Romans mark him, and write his speeches in their books.



OK so this is Cassius speaking to Brutus about Caesar and saying this man who claims to be a god has seizures, can't swim, and gets sick. gods don't get sick so is Caesar really a god also he hates himself because he speaks big words but if Caesar ask him to do something he would do it hastily and he also says that it's annoying that whatever Caesar says everyone pays attention



i am totally confused everything seemed great and now i am questioning my own judgement but it seems i am just the puppet someone else has the strings or in this case all the control but it shouldn't be about me all the time i hope ......well i don't know.....wow i am so positive :) (sarcasm of course)i want ppl to be happy no matter what except murder if you have to kill to be happy i suggest a doctor/not to kill! :)

my friends told me i should convert to being a Jehovah's wittiness because i don't like to sing i use to when i was in choir but that got old and don't like to dance no one to dance with and i hate celebrating holidays but i think converting it's a religious taboo :) this was brought up because my birthdays on the 25Th-uggh

guitar lessons are going great i am happy accept it seems in my wholesome little house hold, well lets just say it was a sham and all the paint has slid off to reveal every ones true image i am in a house full of strangers

and this stupid boy in gym won't stop bothering me i tried tell him to piss off and drop dead but nothing ahhhgggg i think he just likes to bother me though nothing more a parasite or a really hideous dog that follows you everywhere i came very close to using vulgar language but didn't because no offence but ppl who excessively swear non stop sound stupid

i microwaved a piece of bread and recked the microwave the bread was black and melted to the spinning plate thing, i sometimes turn off my brain and do stupid stuff.
i am in love with William Shakespeare not really because he looks kind of like a troll but his writing is amazing how he makes his words flow and come off the page it's like soft butter... well that's how i picture it not the taste of butter of course but how when you slice it with a knife and it just glide through simple, nice. or when your in a boat and you just brush your hand on the surface of the water as you slowly move along.... wow long tangent i seriously love how he writes though

when ever i write it ends up disapearing on me so i am going to keep this short.
i finally went to school on thurs. only to find out have no school on fri. hung out with some colorful characters after school then me and dragon walked to my house only took and hour 45!
we hung out watched movies did stuff and then the next day we went to the mall-i hate the mall and shopping! so while dragon shopped i went and bought a book/pride and the prejudice/and read it while dragon shopped, she was really pissed because i wasn't buying clothes with her well the clothes at the mall suck and i hate shoppong so ya, i don't kno why girls like to shop it's too much to handle to many ppl in a too small space. after we went to her house and watched horror flicks- not cscary or gory so not very good. then we hung out did more stuff and the next day we did homework and i left. i condence 48 hrs into a paragraph!
i can't handle having to hang out with someone that long especially when they don't have your best intrest at heart,it's funny really she tries so hard to embarass me and all i do is laugh along with her and she get even more pissed-with friends like these, who needs enemies?
today my mom contacted me it's the 1st time since christmas i was very suprised she wants to hang out ............? i don't get her she want to be young and free and push me away but then she also wants to be worlds best mother i don't get that she lost the chance to be a parent years ago yet she keeps up this cherade?!?
this is going to sound depressing so don't read if in a happy go lucky mood don't want to bring down anybodies vibe.
i am tired not physically like sleepy but tired of always trying to see the bright side of this wehn they totally suck and tired of pretending i am happy and don't care that my mother is awful and i can just forgive her for what she has done to me. and sometimes i just want to slip under and be depressed for ounce not always trying to keep everybody not to worry about me and just show how i actually feel.
sorry if anybody read that no one wants to hear depressing stuff so heres something bizare i discovered today you can't use the phone in our house if the microwave is on...and also dragon is taking care of a baby bunny and it is the most adorable thing ever i had it in the pocket of my hoodie and it just fell asleep in there!
if i had a pet it would be a dog a pitbull or a bull mastive they are the coolest dogs in existence we had one when i was four he was black and the biggest friggen dog i'd ever seen/i was 4 tho/ and ounce i was building a snowman with my dad and jake/thats the dogs name/ came barrelling over and took out the snowman leaving the snow to fall ontop of me. i was burried for a bit while my dad tried to look for me in the heap/the snowman was quite big/again i was four.
okay i am going to read now i was just trying to do a quick update,but well ....ya not so quick
and i am going to die/not literally/if i don't start reading i held it off to long;)

the magenta unicorn jumped infront of a bus the bus full of circus folk swirved and hit a tree, the tree fell on top of a fire hydrant bursting water out everywhere only to hit the skeletal unicorn pushing it infront of another bus ,the bus felt a slight jostle, and a sleeping arangutan screeched.
i just wrote that because i am bored.
you know when you write something feeling one emotion but someone else reads it and interperts it to mean something else/ i've decided to be completely blunt about how i feel

brief update

i am sick again, i think i have an immune deficientcy not really but i am always sick. maybe it's all in my head. i have noticed in these past 5 days of sickness that TV has really gone down hill alot of bogus reality shows and music stations don't play music just more bogus reality shows, don't get me wrong even though i am sick i still have standards-i read most of the time and drew some more.
my brain hurts i am going to stop now.

With great irritation

have you ever felt irritated with someone with no logical reason and though you tell yourself that, you cannot shake the irritation?
have you ever asked so many rhetorical questions that you want to grab the computer cord and choke yourself with it?
that i am sad to say isn't an exaggeration though i didn't actually do it. Because I. AM. NOT. INSANE. though many times i have questioned my sanity, i know it's there. Today i missed another day of school. JOY.i can barely talk so my family is happy so i don't express my opinion on everything-I'm joking......i think...?
today i was hungry so i decided to make some food but if you knew me wich you don't i can't cook at all my old cooking teacher was always yelling at me /i tried not to laugh. but when i make food it's wiered combo's today i had pickle slices with spagetti and the other day i had spagetti again in a wrap with tomatoes/ i'm on a spagetti bindge-couple weeks ago it was breakfast foods :)
i know this is going to sound tiresome and said many times by many girls, but it drives me crazy not that i haven't said it but it bothers me anyway but when i say it i mean it. girls are always saying stuff like "i look so fat', "ugg i'm so ugly" stupid stuff that they know isn't true but they say it so other people will say "no you don't you'r gorgeouse" they say lies like that to get compliments they know they will recieve and it totally bugs me if you don't mean something don't say it. that was really random the topic not me in particular i am absolutley not random i would say some what boring :)
oh in previouse posts i said i look like a troll under a bridge and i meant it and if anybody says otherwise it kinda contradicts what i said above so you can agree if you wish-that would seriosely makes me happy and that's the honest truth not the lie i want ppl to disagree too.
i like to rage at things in no particular order or reason i was going to say rhyme or reason but that saying is overused. i am completely mad right now/ no particular reason ,usually i draw but i can't find my friggin sketch book so now i am going to drink an energy drink because i want to and they taste good.

haha i just did spell check and apparently didn't spell anything wrong though i might spell something wrong here but i won't check or what i am saying would be false and i don't have the energy to earase this/ why i need an energy drink.

death by boredom

today i am sorry to say i caved and did a twilight drawing-it's hard not to obsess when they are such good books i am such a suicidal hamster i know that doesn't make sense but at the moment i am not right of mind though i was actually going to call myself a lemming which does look kinda like a lovable furry hamster and apparently each year a giant group of them all run off a cliff and drowned-so the story goes. i ounce had a hamster i named it jaws it lived for 4 yrs i think that is pretty good considering i get distracted very easily and sometimes/most times have a seriously short tension span/that would explain my report card marks :P

today my wonderful little sister who i would if had to describe looks somewhat like a barbie doll but under the mask is kind of pure evil-I'm not joking ppl agree with me they think i am exaggerating but i only am a little she isn't Satan more like the spawn of Satan i am completely convinced that i am adopted though i do believe most teenagers wish the same thing. but i can dream right? rhetorical question don't answer i want to stay ignorant :)
some say ignorance is bliss but it's not because it's less ignorance than terning a blind eye but you still know whats going on. my dad bugged me today saying something along the lines of " your not one of those kids who has philosophical discussions about the world and what wrong with it are you?" i was very insulted then how can i a kid who grew up in BC and has not seen much of the world talk about such things because i know nothing about them and plus no offence those kids are annoying thinking they know everything-how can they?
on a positive note i am done writing i am sorry ppl actually read this it's more like a way to vent not for ppl to actually read honestly i don't want to bring up the death toll because if you can die from boredom you should be dead soon-sorry

St. Valentine

valentines day is very commercial for all those aweful corporate buisness men who don't have a romantic bone in thier bodies to make a lot of cash. i sound bitter but i am just frusterated that people fall for all that "oh i need to buy something for the someone i love on this specific dy cuzz everyone else is doing it" seriousely it's mostly the young adults/teenagers who fall for it and most aren't even in love. but luckily i am soo repulsive i don't have to worry about it because no guy has actually liked me without wanting something actually it was only one guy and i set him straight immediatley what a load of B.S. saying he loved me thinking i'd throw myself at him-jerk-anyways thats a past mistake but i guess i'm a bit bitter not about recieving fake tokens of commercials idea of "love" but probably that no one has ever actually shown intrest in me. i don't know why i am actually saying this probably because it's sort of an online diary but i think valentines day should be like a remembrance of st. valentine and not so commercial and who can get the best material items it's very aggrivated especially when younger people who have never been in love toss around the word without any knoweldge of how powerful that word can be and how great it would be they make the word meaningless and phony like the ppl who use it just to get into someones pants

on a superficial happy note i was watching urban legions on history channel/how far they have fallen. and a true legion is this women needed a heart and lung transplant or else she would die and a couple weeks later she got the call and when she woke she had a strange craving for beer wich before the operation she didn't drink and whenshe got home she also had cravings for chicken nuggets and pepppers two things she hated and one because she was a vegetarian!! i know shameful not a good example for us vegge heads tsk! tsk! ayways her daughter was worried because she was craving these food and acting kinda wiered not like her normal self and ounce when asleep she had a dream where she was talking to this youngman and he kissed her and whispered "together forever" so she was thinking who was my donor she called the hospital but all they could say is that he was a young man who had died in a motorcycle axcident/NOOO!!!! not more stuff againts motorbikes!!/sorry for the rant/and so her daughter looked in the obituaries/my favorite part of the newspaper to read/and they found a young man who had died the previouse week due to a motorcyle axcident anyways loooonnnngggg story short they visited the family the decieast had same food cravings and his picture looked like the boy in her dream and his tomb stone read together forever i thought that was wiered and the forever part had some valentinsie message

valentines song -oh my heart-by mother mother

Boredom

i learned how to spell pneumonia wooh! and in other fun news have you ever when sitting be wearing two shoes and then go to hand in homework and realize your shoes are gone and they were just on your feet 10 seconds ago i looked around and couldn't find them so i spent the rest of the class shoeless
i also recieved my report card and you know it's bad when you are glad you didn't fail.....well it's always good when you don't fail but my goal was to pass of course that i well exceeded my goals but something that suprised me was my mark in art i usually get 50% but today i got, drum roll please, an A woot!! my first A in art ever!!! i was very suprised not that i completely suck, well atleast i don't think i suck.

on an unrelated less intresting topic people no matter what age or where you are there are some people that are totally and completley immature. sometimes immaturity can be funny and i am not saying i am some one who doesn't go a little nuts every ounce and everyday/sort of kidding
but when someone you have to sit by everyday is always poking you and drumming there hands on their desk and ALWAYS talking i may have the earge to wrap my fingers around his neck and choke the life right out of him. i am not one to become a murderer but seruiousely he acts like he is still in kindergarden/heres a tip: act like you'r in high school because you are!!!

in planning i watched a video about drunk driving and it was very very visual/ people left the room to toss their cookies/YUSS got to use that phrase again

i would also like to apologize to people that read my ranting you are very brave to read this stuff and not die of boredom seriousely i would give you all banana popsicles accept one i don't know who you are and i can mail them because they'll melt

falling from a cliff

i am having severe artists block i want to draw something Wolfy/try something new for a change i think i may go more off kilter if i don't figure something else any suggestions what to draw?

muhahaha<<<<diabolical laugh i just found out how to use spell check

super powers

i just spent an hour trying to write out this short story i really like and it just earased on me :(
okay today i drew a picture of a person smoking but it hard to explain all the details ounce i'm finished i post a picture of it. but today 10 minutes before my bus came i took a shower because i decided i didn't care anymore so i might aswell do whatever after that my dad was there and said he would drive me to school and i was late and interupted the class-good :)

so i was behind because i missed school the other day and i read this short story that is sooo good it's called Harrison Bergeron it's about making everyone equal by taking away everyones talents it's very thought provoking and just an all around good story. in art i completley ignored the teacher and did my own thing -i'm sad cuz our scatter brained art teacher is sick and won't be back for 2 weeks so we actually have to learn. Gym class was awful i fell over a lot wich is sad because all we were doing was this yoga stuff but i's with weights so i really don't kno what it's called i also learned to jump rope :) ( finally all my lifes goals are complete) and in socials i learned how to make paper airplanes and shoot them into the garbage can!!! i know paper air planes/ i'm not quite sure where the teacher was.

i sound very negative and some sad attempts at beinng positive i need to use the POWER of the POSITIVE THINKING sounds like a super power ooh if i get to choose super powers i want mind reading or the power to read really fast SPEED READING!
I DISCOVERED COLOR!

Banana tinted

today i stayed home sick and i was sleeping/shocker/and when i woke up i herd someone walking around upstairs wich was wiered cuz my sister was at work and my dad was at work so it was safe to say like any dumb scary movie expert i went to check it out :)/since it's not a crappy horror flick.

as i walked up the stairs trying to avoid all the stairs that make that eary creeky noise, but alas since i'm not so graceful i fell up the stairs trying to avoid the most creecky stairs. so i was all like screw it if someones in the house they have already herd me. so i ran up the last million steps (gros exageration)and as i turned the corner the laundry room door leading to the garage swung open and out steps our cleaning lady i jumped so high.

Worlds BEST popsicle (banana flavored)

failure to the art world

WOW
i was looking at some art on the website deviantart.com and WOW i feel like a failure some ppl on thier are amazing, of course i knew i wasn't the best in the world -haha i don't even come close but i am feeling very small right now. i can barely stick to one sketch for more then an hour if i am really into it and it would take me months to even get close to how good these ppl are. my dad is an artist he is one of 3 forensic artists in all of BC maybe even more but i don't know-he's amazing really life like and i don't even come close :( it's depressing to know that. i wasn't obliviouse before but now just more aware of the fact and it freaks me out because of the art courses i'm taking in the summer-YIKES!

Troll under a bridge

dragon told me that she feels sorry for any teacher that tries to be buddy buddy with me because i will chew them out. i don't disagree with that statement but that statement is very vague it's the teachers that try to be your best friend by being immature, like my french teacher i was tired that day in class so i was all whatever attitued about things and he just started talking to me and saying like retarded stuff like jocks are dumb and they should have poetry in the school newspaper stuff like that like how i dress represents some cheesey high school sitcom where all the ppl not in sports and read alot hate evrything and are supremely dark, his way of being "hip with the kids" was sad so i told him how i felt about his crappy buddy buddy attempt and instead of stopping he tried harder so i completely was ice in his class-what a jerk.

also my school is having a dance on the 12th mascarade *eyes rolling* it's for all those lovey dovey kids with enough money to drop 100$ on a dress at la chateau and then another heap on actually attending the dance - just a dance one that if you live to be 40 you'll say what a waste of money/ wow i sound totally bitter and i don't mean to sound like that it's not that i look like a total troll though you may beg to differ and the photo of me makes you want to toss your cookies/love that phrase/but dances are awkward and boring unless you go with someone
DANG-IT i must be a troll! oh well atleast i can be all like "i live under a bridge and don't let goats eat fresh green grass on the other side"HA those stupid goats wont see it coming

UGHH! my dad walked in and he was all like what is this and i told him and he was all like let me see it, god if i wanted him to see it i would have told him about it and my sister knows because well she is sneaky i don't care it's not like i'm lying or keeping secrets from them i just want something to just be my own away from my regular life where i can say my opinion and thoughts without being scrutinized. i know that may seem silly but it's the truth. i didn't show him and assured him i am not anything bad/what could be bad about an opinion??well he was happy about that but my sister was all lime hmm i shood ask him/meaning bring it up and make him think it is bad/ wow sisters are great aren't they (sarcasm)

p.s. the photo is a bit wobly i don't know why:P

have you ever played hot potatoe with a hot potatoe well i did with my friend and her 2 younger siblings (i was helping babysit) so wicked that potatoe can really hurt!
on friday i actually pretended to be social and saw a movie -the univited- ok it's suppose to be scary and ppl got mad at me cuzz there is this one point where a girl finds a garbage bag in the woods and it's night/oooh spooky/ and she starts walking toward it and the bag twitches and as she unties it a body of a girl falls out face down and then suddenly her head makes a sickening crack cuz she's twisted it all the way around and she says something next but i can't hear it beacause i burst into laughter! it was so funny to me and other ppl (girls) were screaming wich made me laugh harder wich made my friend laugh and it was hard to stop though it was a seriousely supposedly scary part *eyes rolling* note i am not one of those annoying ppl in the theaters that never shut up but it was funny and i couldn't help it.

after my dad gave me the grocery list (same day) it was like 9:30PM me and my friend lets call her DRAGON /because she is really good at drawing dragons, and lets face it dragons are a pretty fricken sweet mythical creature.so we entered the price mart/like a safe way or a stupid store/we high jacked a cart and were kinda riding it down the ilses ditching it sometimes to sprint down the ilses and the shop ppl didn't say anything cuz i probably scared them. i was wearin a gray pair of skinny jeans that i completely covered in my art and i ripped them practacly evertwhere so it looks like a bear attacked me/or a really aggitated cat. the longest scarf ever it drags on the ground it is earthy tones and a bright green and white striped to long to be a shirt to short to be a dress shirt though i wear it as both/when feeling supremely brave :P
it may not paint a scary picture but when you see some vigilantee/not that i am one/running full tilt down an ilse pulling a cart witha red headed girl screaming in the cart you may freak out just a little

p.s. she was half screaming half laughing and her hair is naturally bright orange it's very pretty

i also watched the movie jumper and ate wine gums while discussing why the leggo candy really hurt our jaws/and how in less than a month i can get my drivers licence!!!/i love the buelle and the kawasaki ninja 250r <<< motor bikes so in love with them and am suprisingley allowed to drive one if go through course (gotta love the parentals) though my mom won't approve -muhahahaha! <<< diabolical laugh/ wish i had one of those would totally come in handy

oh this is so embarrasing when i was walking home on friday me and dragon were heading straight towards the gates and they opend cuz a car was coming through and ounce it had dragon ran through the gates fast so she would not miss them and me being the tremendous dork i am did slow motion run through them making fun of her and her panick about getting through well she didn't like this so just as i cleared it to the other side of the gate she pushed me back and the gates closed at the same time and i was still on the other side so i gave her a misheviuose smile cuz she hadn't succeded in getting me locked out but as i went to walk forward i couldn't and i found out that though i had spared myself my back pack wasn't so lucky so i was stuck there with my bag on my back but in the other side of the gate of course she laughed but i had to wait for another car to come along before i could be let free.

oh something i forgott to mention about dragons siblings when i was babysitting we were playing tag hide and go seek and as i was walking around the corner her sister jumped down and crawled up my back and her being eight and me being very weak i fell over and then dragons brother came in and sat on me aswell he is eight too but they are not twins and so i was being crushed to death while dragon kicked me i know wtf kinda game is that i have no clue but all i know is that i lost.but i gained some wicked bruises that i can totally lie about like i beat up a totally scary cat burgalar or i fell off a small bridge or i got hit by a car/some of the bruises are not at there best yet so who knows what kinda story i can pull off. WOW i just looked at the time and i have much better things to do..............okay i am lying but don't want to lead on how totally boring my life can be:))

useless nonsense

my gym class is 3rd period.

i had strength and conditioning/weight lifting and riding those bikes....but...don't go anywhere..?

as i was riding those motionless bikes my head started to pound. i told the teacher, she told me not to be a whimp/lovely woman. after 45min, i could barely see straight so i told her and she totally freaked at me. i walked home early. WHEN i got home i had a bubble bath! .apparently i don't eat enough, my parents told /blamed me of being anorexic. i mean PLEASE, i mean seriousely just because i dodn't eat dinner or eat at school. i eat when i'm hungry, why waste food if you are not hungry? and people with anorexia think they are fat, i don't think i am fat.

my english teacher is so great we read a short story called "belonging to the dragon" it's about a girl who has a controlling boyfriend and some artsy guy drew a dragon on her pants.......anyways really good and now for an english project we have to reaserch dragons! and we have to draw aswell! he is so amazing!!! and crazy!

and now i can spell the word WHEEL BARROW! i thought it was spelt weel barrel

i found out my favorite sandwich is tomatoes and cheese on whole wheat bread YUM.

AND i learned how to make pancakes and FRENCH toast!!(on my very own :P)

speaking of french did you not know i am almost fluent in french!!i know you are almost jealouse

i am spouting off information because i am so keyed up i think i'm ging to french braid my hair, or make a tomatoe and cheese sandwich.

SPRING break i am visiting my aunt in california/i don't even get tanned/paste white throughout all the seasons/ probably an iron dificientsy(CAN'T SPELL accept for wheel barrow)

i did this crappy drawing on the first day of art class/we only get 10 mins. to free draw *GASP*

Late night e-mail

apparently i got this email sent back to me tonight and i don't remember writting it, i thought it was funny though how outrageouse i sound (the first part is from a friend)







sarah you are a freak right now where are you!!?? i don't know why cats are what you mentioned, but that's you your sarah ....by the time you respond to this it'll probably been a year!
eric for twilight is asian-i disagree with that, he wasn't like that in the book
i'm so bored right now so i'll send this ok

buh byez






you were right and what about les petites chattons? (cats) and you read like yur high!!!!! ZOMG!!!
NAUGHTY NAUGHTY
yeah, i thnk asian eric is hot....WHAt??!!!
but laurent can go and they pronounced it laww raunt like french MUCH !!!
KAY IT'SA LIKE UMM 10:15
*woot!* yur ficken e-mail was like a shot of energy and now ima like the friggin energizzer BUNNY!!
bunnies are cute like MEGA-cute like the ones that are really harry i think they're called lion bunnies or summthin
LION-BUNNIES " and so the lion fell in love with the were wolfe.....!!???" ( didn't see that one coming )
my fingers are twitching but i can't get to the keys fast enough -HOW AGGRIVATING-anywho it's like veryververyvery late so ya

byre





i sound completley crazy and stupid *notice i use the word friggen?
i can't even remember writting this but i guess i did hopefully i don't talk like this outloud i don't think i do but maybe i subconciousely suppress the memories of school because they are very mind numbing but i think the teachers have the opposite purpose in mind

Think like a ......?

the best way to express your voice is to write it out and then ounce done spilling your gutts, quickly earase it all. i just did it.Totally works

recently i discovered something that most people know but never use and if you do BRAVO.

it's cheasy if i just blurt it out so here it goes i just discovered this -THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING!!-seriousley if you just be so positive that people think you are on painkillers and no matter what things don't quite suck so hard. though it is one thing to say it and another to truly try out a theory i attempted this overused saying.

the day began with snow on the ground and icy steps to desend- well atleast it's not snowing right now.

the weather dries out my faire sensitive skin to the point of pain-atleast i don't have to walk to school ( shout out to the lovely brenda!/my bus driver)

my project got erased from my computers hard drive- i get a chance to make it better

my friend bugged me because i don't hang out with her enough-i made plans to see a movie

(that one was not really something painful to deflect/but i am really unsocial)

the boys in gym tried to make me sit out- i wiped the floor with them/totally beat them to the ball for soccer/ apparently i'm a fast runner :P

in socials got a crappy seating plan i'm in thr FRONT!- i'll have to pay attention now/grades may improve?

and i fixed my lovely computer

see the power of positive thinking really works! unless your life is crap all the time then i suggest a recreational activity to pass away the day OH and don't be so dramatic when i say your life is crap i mean in the category

you live in a shoebox and you eat old moldy shoes infested with maggots and the last owner of the shoe had athletes foot and didn't wear socks! (i know a truly appauling idea)

oh and all of this is true for you why don't you sell the computer you are reading this off of andbuy a marginally bigger box and a used guitar that you can strum it for money.

completely off topic don't you hate when girls scream when they see someone famouse think about it , if one day you walked out side and people started screaming at you would you reallly want to stick around and chat. not likely.

I did the eye in pen