apologize in advance

go you ever feel completley lost in your surroundings?
like everyone around you are having a good time and you just seem to not be able to catch up ?
that's how i feel everywhere i go, sort of left out. Like things are happening everywhere that i am not.
an example i use to live in coquitlam and i socialized a lot and had a lot of friends, when i moved here to my
original inhabitants i had 3 good friends which turned to 2 good friends and now i have 1 friend, i don't lose
my friend or get in giant arguments with them, but we just drift apart.
and all my old friends are hanging out and having fun while i sit here reading drawing and writing.

then i thought well i'll add them on facebook but that didn't work because the group always uses inside jokes.
then i thought make a deviant art account get to know people of there.....
it's a pathetic attempt.
i have had the account for 3 weeks and in that total i have gotten 3 messages........it's sad believe me

and some how i feel kind of inadequate like i'm some pathetic thing everyone tries to avoid
i know i am not the best artist...jeesh that is for sure, but still....?

i don't know why i am even typing this but well and here is the cliche line every teenager uses 'i feel like no one understands me'
now that i have typed it i feel stupid but there is no going back now i type how i feel.

this is very 'woe is me' crap people who have way less than i have are still happier than me i need to get a grip and deal with it and stop being such a baby
i have a roof over my head
food to eat
a parent that doesn't hate me
i should be happy......... but i am not.
and i hate myself for not being happy.
very deep dark depressing stuff if any body reads this i apologize in advance or since this is at the bottom of the page i apologize after the fact.