NM

i got this dog yesterday it's the family dog she is 7 weeks old and is very very very tiny, i want to name her Norma Jean like Marilyn Monroe, and if you don't know what i am meaning ......then i am not gong to tell you...:)

so blind

they tried to tell me i have an eating disorder, the doctor, my parents.......... i don't.

they don't think i eat enough, how would they know they are never home to notice anyways (my parents, not the doctors, it would be pretty weired if they were at my house.)

it's very frustrating having the same conversation over and over again, and they have no evidence, i haven't lost a tremendous amount of weight, arr!!! <--- venting anger. they are so blind.

school has almost been on 2 weeks and so far i have missed 3 days of scho0l!

i went to the doctors and they said i have an iron deficiency, i went to the dentist and i have TJM ( some sort of jaw problem that if not fixed it can be bad) and now i am getting migraines......i am falling apart.

the new school i am going to is cool i have made lots of friends already and boys are all pigs,finally realized this.

first day of school, it's the end of the day and i am walking towards a bus, as i am approaching the bus someone steps in front of me, i look up to see this very tall guy standing in front of me, i mumble sorry and go to move around him but he moves when i move being directly in front of me again, again i think it was an accident and i mumble sorry and try to go the other way and again the same thing happens, so i look up and this guy is grinning like a fool, so then i say 'can i help you?' because i dunno maybe i am in his way? or ....? i dunno, so as a reply he gives me some obscene suggestions of what i can do for him and he gives me his number....WTF!!??

do i look like a prostitute?

and he's not the only one, well he was the only one making obscene suggestions but guys are creeps, some of them the way they look at you is like you forgot to put on a shirt and they keep staring, but that isn't even the worst this one guy stares right into my eyes making me turn away first he keeps doing it, it freaks me out, once i tried to out stare him but it's weired i can't explain it but i couldn't. so guys are creeps and really obnoxious.

anyways got my drivers licence on August 8th i am so lazy in less than 6 months i'll be 17 and i just got my license *eyes rolling*

i feel like a have a road block in my brain like i can't get to any of the good ideas on the other side

this is an example of my quick sketch work

apologize in advance

go you ever feel completley lost in your surroundings?
like everyone around you are having a good time and you just seem to not be able to catch up ?
that's how i feel everywhere i go, sort of left out. Like things are happening everywhere that i am not.
an example i use to live in coquitlam and i socialized a lot and had a lot of friends, when i moved here to my
original inhabitants i had 3 good friends which turned to 2 good friends and now i have 1 friend, i don't lose
my friend or get in giant arguments with them, but we just drift apart.
and all my old friends are hanging out and having fun while i sit here reading drawing and writing.

then i thought well i'll add them on facebook but that didn't work because the group always uses inside jokes.
then i thought make a deviant art account get to know people of there.....
it's a pathetic attempt.
i have had the account for 3 weeks and in that total i have gotten 3 messages........it's sad believe me

and some how i feel kind of inadequate like i'm some pathetic thing everyone tries to avoid
i know i am not the best artist...jeesh that is for sure, but still....?

i don't know why i am even typing this but well and here is the cliche line every teenager uses 'i feel like no one understands me'
now that i have typed it i feel stupid but there is no going back now i type how i feel.

this is very 'woe is me' crap people who have way less than i have are still happier than me i need to get a grip and deal with it and stop being such a baby
i have a roof over my head
food to eat
a parent that doesn't hate me
i should be happy......... but i am not.
and i hate myself for not being happy.
very deep dark depressing stuff if any body reads this i apologize in advance or since this is at the bottom of the page i apologize after the fact.