wasted emotion

i haven't been on here for a while because i really hate computers.

i think crushes are stupid, wasted emotion when people go all gaga for someone they just met or have only saw its pathetic and i hate it. i know i sound really harsh, but well i am just mad it's a lot of emotion that sometimes doesn't go anywhere because people are so afraid of being rejected, i have never had a crush on someone, until now and i really hate it i have tried very hard not to like this person, tried to find flaws or something i do not like about my crush, but i can't find any and let me tell you i hate myself for it.

 and it's frustrating because sometimes this person pulls me in then the next day or week they push me away so i have no clue what they feel and i am pretty sure it's written all over my face how i feel which makes me even more pathetic.

 i don't like crushes i have even made fun of people for wasting their time with them, honestly who really wants to be thinking of some one and wondering if they like you back and i am to much a wimp to say anything, so crushes are stupid and i really hate this i just want to not like anyone ever, then you can't get hurt.